I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
