Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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