Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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