You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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