well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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