Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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