im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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