I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
