I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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