The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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