dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
