do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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