yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
