Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
