we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
