HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
