You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
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i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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