i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
