So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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