If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
