this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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