He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
