Your tits are I can't wait for
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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