drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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