well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize