wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
