hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize