I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
