David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
