I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize