escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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