Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
