you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
