how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
