Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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