I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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