I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
