So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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