whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
