I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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