this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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