I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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