i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
