i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize