If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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