she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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