i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
