There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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