we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
where are you?
Hypothermia
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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