i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
