I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
