I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize