ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
