i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
