Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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