Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
