come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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