Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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