Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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