i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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