Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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