I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize