These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
